I love to blog. So why has my page been idle?? Because I have allowed myself to get away from the love of blogging and caught up in the pressure of posting what is dictated by others.
Keeping up with the Jones'. It never works. Chasing the success of others and feeling less than what Iam because I am judging myself based on others. Frustrating --- and it leaves me not wanting to do the things I love to do because I dont feel "good enough". But what defines "good"? What or who gets to decide what makes me successful? Why am I concentrating on all the things around me and not on my true love??I havent even written an actual book review in the last couple of months. And why that is I have yet to actually figure out. And I just keep coming back to the fact that I dont feel good enough.
New Authors complain because the bigger blogs wont post for them or because the bigger blogs wont read their books. They often seem uninterested in us little guys. So the little guys get to the point that we begin to wonder why we bother. I mean, if authors dont feel we are good enough why bother? Right?? No wait --- WRONG! I am good enough. I may not have 10,000 plus likes, but I do have an audience. So why is it that my little blog isnt good enough in the eyes of some of the authors. And why do I allow this mind set to discourage me from doing what I love?? Am I blogging for me or am I blogging to Keep up with the Jones'?
Iam tired of feeling hurt, not good enough or like I dont matter. But ultimately I am allowing these feelings to control me. If an author has 100 plus smaller blogs sign up for a release blitz or a cover reveal and each of those blogs have an audience, versus a couple of bigger blogs with larger numbers, then people are still being reached. And thats the goal -- reaching people.
Every blog had to start at the bottom. Every blog had only a few thousand likes at one time. The people that run the bigger blogs put their pants on one leg at a time, just like the people that run the smaller blogs do. So why is it that we get caught up in this big blog vs small blog??? We stress ourselves out and make ourselves feel unworthy. Then we get to the point that we get away from our love and why we began blogging to begin with.
So, Im tired now. Tired of trying to keep up with the Jones'. Enough is Enough. I refuse to let another person make me feel like Iam not worthy, or good enough. And Iam going to get back to my 1st love. My true love. I refuse to be a victim any longer. If an author doesnt feel like Iam good enough, then I wont help that author. And then that is 3000 plus less people that said author wont reach. And that doesnt hurt me, it hurts them. I am worth more than being put down and looked down upon.
I am in control of my life. I have likes and dislikes. I have ideas and wants and dreams..... And Iam going to allow my dreams to come true. Because in the end its not about how many likes I get, or how many people want to react to my posts. Its about what I LOVE...... and I love blogging.